Are you resolute in the new year ?

January 8, 2014 //

Ok you’ve had one week to get settled and make, practice, and hopefully not yet break your New Years resolutions. So what did you come up with this year? Let’s take it a step further: we are all going to try to get in better shape and save more money. So let’s throw those two down as constants. For the rest of your life you will practice those two and not need to include them in your New Years plans. Instead you can use January 1st as your check in date and see what progress you’ve made I’m 365 days. So write down your starting numbers.

Now, what unique goals have you set for yourself in 2014? Here are mine…

1) I want to utilize the “silence” and “do not disturb” function on my smart phone more. I think cell phones are great tools and they do amazing things. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you my infatuation with my mobile devices. But I don’t need to check every alert the moment it comes in. I want to check them in the morning or evening or when I have free time for them. But not 6 times during a movie, twice during dinner, and every time I hear a beep or feel a buzz from my phone.

2) From seeing the local museums, to picking up tourist pamphlets at the local hotels, I always come up with ideas of things that I would like to try. I have tons and tons of digital notes on cool ideas. This year I just want to go. I want to drive downtown, head out in a given direction, and just go do it. There are free things and there are pay things, but what there isn’t is a reason not to do something. I want to explore my world !

3) I want to build this blog. It took my a while to even start it. I have plenty of ideas for it. And I want to continue to improve it for you and for me.

4) I’m pretty fortunate that I have been successful in a lot of my life’s attempts. And even with the ones I have failed at, I have learned from. If I have done this well so far, what if I pushed the envelope? I want to challenge myself this year, both in my personal and professional life.

What do you want to do in 2014? I’d love it if you’d post one or some of your thoughts in the comments section.

Cheers!

Tags 2014, fresh start, goals, january, new year, new years resolution, personal growth, resolutions, self empowerment, self inprovement

Categories current event, mindset

Family does not always mean blood

December 27, 2013 //

Too often the holidays come around and we think it is a time for family. And to many, family means relatives, by blood or by marriage. But does it really stop there?

Over the years I have moved away from my family to reach my own personal goals. All of my family lives a plane ride away. Needless to say, I have made new friends throughout my travels, both in my new home area and on my many journeys’. And I’m proud to say that many of these new friends have become very close friends. We have had amazing adventures together, shared very good times and very bad times together.

Although there have been years that I have not been able to spend the actual holiday with my blood family, I have always been able to get back home to see them “around” the holidays. This year is the first year where I have not been able to get back to them. Even after taking a new position at work afforded my more time off, I found that I accidently planned a foreign trip pretty close to the holiday season. I made the decision to skip going home, after the trip, and for the holidays. It became costly for airfare and was going to be a lot of traveling.

My family was very understanding and thanks to modern conveniences of Facebook, speaker phone, and Skype I was still able to see their shining faces for the holiday. But the wondered what I would spend my holiday doing “all by myself.”

I found that family does not always mean blood. I ended spending my holiday with some very special people, none of which were my relatives. Some of us exchanged gifts – very well thought out gifts I must say! We all came together and made a great meal and shared some laughs. It ended up being an excellent day.

I did miss being with my blood family, but it was wonderful to see how important a close group of friends can be. Family truly does not have to be blood.

Which non-relatives did you reach out to this holiday season? Did you include those special people of your life in your holiday celebrations?

Tags celebration, family, friends, groups, holiday season, holidays, relatives, social, together

Categories friends, Relationships, social

Who’s is Nelson Mandela .?

December 9, 2013 //

“One of the most difficult things is not to change society – but to change yourself.” -Nelson Mandela

As you have seen in the media recently, Nelson Mandela has passed away this past weekend. I remember his release from prison in Africa after 27 years. And I always associated his name with ending apartheid. Apar…what?

In case you haven’t taken a moment to research it I thought I’d share a quick snippet about it. It’s basically racial segregation sponsored by the state and imbedded into political policy and thus everyday life.

Mandela was imprisoned as a political prisoner for speaking and working against that system. He eventually was released from prison after 27 years and was elected as the president of the very country that imprisoned him.

I’m not here to talk politics. But his mental fortitude is worth some admiration. And some basically knowledge is always good to have when it comes to world news. Share it at a diner party, teach your kids, and just be happy to obtain some new knowledge.

Embrace your world.

Tags apartheid, death, hope, nelson mandela, optimisim

Categories current event, quotes

No…….thank you!

November 28, 2013 //

It’s thanksgiving here in the US. We will see and hear many messages of being thankful and givings thanks. Families will join together, friends will be welcome.

Let’s try to carry these joys and warmths with us through the year. Always try to be thankful for what what you have. Many more may have more, but undoubtedly many more have less..

Simply being with people you care about serves as reason to be thankful. Enjoy the people in your life or reconsider why they are there.

Having been in the position to spend holidays alone in the past, I urge anyone who finds themselves there to accept an invitation that finds you. Or simple go to a popular spot where people are gathering and enjoy the crowds. Start a conversation with a stranger. You will be surprised how many people will welcome your company. And if you see someone alone, don’t hesitate to say hi.

Break your comfort zone and spread good will.

Happy thanksgiving to all.

Tags crowds, famile, friends, grateful, groups, holidays, joy, lonely, social, thankful, thanksgiving, warmth

Categories current event, Relationships, social

Repost: 28 rules for fathers of sons

November 20, 2013 //

I came across this on Facebook, as shared post. It’s from a blog, ” Single dad laughing”, who had re-posted it after finding it on another blog, “Diapers and Daisies.” I couldn’t help but continue to share it. After all, we are trying to be better men aren’t we??

1. Love his Mother. He will learn to love like you love, and hate like you hate. So choose love for both of you. Devote yourself to it. Love with your whole heart and express that love each and every day. Then, someday down the road, you will see the way he loves his own wife, and know that you played a part in that.

2. Let him drive. Every child remembers the first time they drove on daddy’s lap. For that one moment, he will believe that he is just. like. you.

3. Teach him to be picky. Especially when it comes to women and burgers. Teach him to never settle.

4. Take him to a ball game. There is something about sharing a day of hot dogs, sunshine and baseball with your father.

5. Love with Bravery. Boys have this preconceived notion that they have to be tough. When he is young, he will express his love fully and innocently. As he grows, he will hide his feelings and wipe off kisses. Teach him to be a man who rubs them in instead. It takes courage for a man to show love: teach him to be courageous.

6. Talk about sex. Sometimes, boys need to know that all men are created equal.

7. Teach him to be a man’s man. Show him how to be brave and tough around the guys. Then, remind him on the ride home that it is okay to cry.

8. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let him tell you about girls, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. He is not only your son, you are not only his father. Be his friend too.

9. Teach him manners. Because sometimes you have to be his father, not just his friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

10. Teach him when to stand-up and when to walk away. He should know that he doesn’t have to throw punches to prove he is right. He may not always be right. Make sure he knows how to demand respect- he is worthy of it. It does not mean he has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence.

11. Teach him to choose his battles. Make sure he knows which battles are worth fighting- like for family or his favorite baseball team. Remind him that people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help him to understand when to shut his mouth and walk-away. Teach him to be the bigger- the better- person.

12. Let him dance in tighty whiteys. Dance alongside him in yours. Teach him that there are moments when it is okay to be absolutely ridiculous.

13. Share music. Introduce him to the classics and learn the words to the not-so-classics. Create a rock band with wooden instruments, share your earphones, and blast Pink Floyd in the car. Create a soundtrack to your lives together.

14. Let him win. Sometimes he needs to know that big things are possible.

15. Teach him about family. Let him know family is always worth fighting for. Family is always worth standing up for. At the end of the day, he has you to fall back on, and pray to God that you will have him.

16. Father him. Being a father—to him—is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with him the joys of fatherhood, so one day he will want to be a father too. Remind him over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love him like you love him.

17. Listen to him now. If you don’t listen to the little things now, he won’t share the big things later.

18. Let him try on your shoes. Even if they are old and smelly. Let him slip his little feet in and watch him as he hopes like hell that someday he can fill them. He will fill them.

19. Give him bear hugs. The kind that squeezes his insides and make him giggle. The kind of hug only a daddy can give.

20. Give him baths. Because Mom can’t do everything damnit.

21. Teach him how to pee standing up. Let him pee outside- such is the joy of being a man. Mom cannot teach this talent, so someone has to.

22. Know the answers. He will assume you do. If you don’t know them, pretend you do and look them up later.

23. Toss him around. Because little boys love seeing the strength of their father. Throw him up in the air, so that he knows you will always be there to catch him on his way down.

24. Ask his mother. He will come to you with questions that he won’t always want to ask his mother, about girls and about love. Ask her anyway, she will know the answers.

25. Love him like you would love a daughter. Little girls are not the only ones who need hugs and kisses. Love is the color yellow of emotions. It is both happy and gender neutral.

26. Grow a big belly. Because every child should get the chance to rest there head on the absolute softest pillow ever. Daddy’s belly is the best place to land.

27. Don’t say, do. American inventor, Charles F. Kettering once said, “every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice.” Be a good one.

28. Be his hero. You are anyway. To him, you have the strength of Batman, the speed of Spiderman and the brain of Ironman. Don’t disappointment. Prove to him that Daddy’s are the biggest heroes of all. Only Daddy’s can save the day.

“After all, good fathers make good sons.”

I couldn’t agree more!

Tags boys, family, fathers, Life, love, man, men, parenthood, parents, rules, sons, youth

Categories Relationships, sons, Values

Books and their covers…

November 4, 2013 //

The other morning I sat down at breakfast and noticed a little old man sitting next to me. I smiled and let the moment pass not thinking too much about it and not expecting much more from it.

A few minutes later, a little old woman join him. Having seen many old people eat breakfast before, I barely gave it a second thought. But, when the woman sat down I couldn’t help but overhear her talking. Then I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Almost as soon as she sat down she started complaining. This was not the average bitter old woman! I heard her say “That stupid bitch!” Immediately I was shocked. Everyone at my table must have heard it because it got silent. No one knew what to say. I mean how crabby can this old lady possibly be?! They must have said “stupid bitch!” about 5 times in a row. And it turns out she was mad because there was a lady in front of her at the omelette bar holding up the line because she didn’t know what she wanted. Whoa! I was floored! This lady was so old and crabby that the omelette line set her off.

A couple of minutes passed, and the old lady started talking to me. Well, to my friend. Apparently, this lady noticed the college shirt my friend was wearing and had something to say about it. I had no idea where or how this was going to go. I didn’t doubt my friend had just heard the omelette story. And I knew she would not deal with this lady’s attitude…. so here it goes… what will happen next…?

It turns out the old lady used to live in the same state as the college mentioned on my friends’ shirt. She was very fond of the area and that broke the ice to a casual conversation.

As it turned out, I was celebrating my birthday. The lady and her husband were celebrating his birthday. As the conversation went on, I learned that the lady had survived breast cancer – twice. She was proudly wearing pink T-shirt and advising all women who would listen to get checked out.

She had served in the Navy and was somewhat of a pin-up girl who became popular when she was caught on camera smoking cigars with some ranking officers.

When she was younger, she used to own a ’58 Chevy. She told us how she used to play chicken on the road and run from the cops. She got so illuminated when she was telling these stories. And she had no time for the guys who thought she couldn’t hold her own.

We reminisced about some college parties she used to go to after the football games.

It turns out she wasn’t bitchy at all – she was feisty! She was quite the character and a great random person to chat with. You never know who will cross your path or what story they have to tell.

Two lessons here: 1) Never underestimate the story of strangers. 2) Live your life as to have a wonderful story to share with others.

Tags attitude, birthdays, breakfast, cancer, conversations, covers, feisty, first impressions, impressions, inspiration, inspire, judgement, judgment, lessons, Life, life lessons, mentality, mindset, opinion, opportunity, outlook, people, personalities, society, strangers, survival, the unknown

Categories mindset, Relationships, social

Drink?

October 17, 2013 //

life is full of social events, football season, holiday parties, work events, you name it. Do not be the guy who walks up to the bar with a lost look on his face when the bartender asks “what can I get cha?”

Every guy needs to have a default drink he can order fast. And it doesn’t have to be alcohol. And there will be plenty of times where you can ask for the wine list and take your time and chit chat while you decide if that beer is too dark or too light.

But be a man and know what you like. It can be as easy as ordering a light beer. Or soda water and line. But have something in your mind when you buddy finally get the bartenders attention and your asked what you’re having.

My preferences change depending on my mood and the setting. If I’m watching a game, I’ll have a beer. If I’m in a nice Italian restaurant, I like a glass of Cabernet. But the point is, I know what I like.

If you’re not sure what you like, try some stuff when you are out to dinner, or when your home relaxing.

But don’t be the guy standing there with the “deer in headlights” look on your face when it’s your turn to order.

Tags alcohol, bar, bar skills, beer, beverage, drinks, man, manly, manners, non-alcoholic, shots, social, socialize, thirsty, wine

Categories social

Dress The Part

October 12, 2013 //

I was speaking with a friend last night and we got on the topic of first impressions. And they asked me “do you really think clothing affects first impressions or is that people just being shallow?”

I responded, Unequivocally, yes, dress matters – and here’s why:

Years ago a study of “cop-killers” was done. The interview went to prisons and spoke with people who had been convicted of killing a police officer. There was numerous things the study wanted to inquire about, but one surprising lesson came up about dress.

One of the inmates told the following story:

He said he woke up angry one day. He sat up in bed and told himself “You’re gonna kill a cop today.” He decided that the first police officer he came across, he would kill.

So, he said he got dressed and got on with his mission. He left his home for a walk, determined that he would kill the first police officer he saw.

They asked him if he carried out that plan, and he said “yes and no.” He went on to explain that the first officer he saw was directing traffic. The inmate reported that he stood at the corner of the intersection and watched the officer for about 10 minutes. He said there was a lot of opportunities when the officer had his back to him.

But as the inmate watched the officer, he saw that the officer had his uniform pressed. His shoes were shined. He appeared to be in good shape. The inmate said he got the impression that this officer was serious. He had his sh*t together. He appeared very professional. The inmate said that he felt that if he engaged in a shoot-out with this officer, the officer would react with his professionalism and seriousness and clearly win…. So he walked away. The officer never even knew he was there.

But the inmate said he continued on his walk. He came across an officer that was clearly out of shape. His uniform didn’t fit. He said it looked like he just didn’t care. He engaged THAT officer, and killed him.

Now, who knows if the first officer would have won. But that story illustrates the power of impression.

Care about your appearance, at least your professional appearance. Own the room, meeting, interview, sales pitch, etc when you walk in. Impression are made fast, and often times far before you will have the chance to explain your resume and personality.

Dress the part.

Tags appearance, attire, clothing, confidence, dress, fashion, first impressions, impressions, leadership, professionalism

Categories Career, Values

Unknown Talents

October 3, 2013 //

“The expert in anything was once a beginner”

Oh how we forget this… We look at people and admire them for their skills and knowledge in certain areas. We allow that admiration to morph into intimidation. We start to question our own abilities and tell ourselves we are good enough to match those experts. We sell ourselves short.

We end up not applying for that job, not going out for the team, not bothering to delve deeper into our hobbies.

What if all the “experts” of their fields would have thought like that? It sure would have been a waste of unknown talent…

Tags abilities, beginners, experts, fear, intimidation, opportunity, skills, talent, the unknown, try

Categories Career, mindset, quotes

Are you resolute in the new year ?

Who’s is Nelson Mandela .?

Repost: 28 rules for fathers of sons

Dress The Part

Unknown Talents

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