“Pain is mandatory, suffering is optional”
– Buddhist quote
Archives for the month of: September, 2012
The dating world is a web of frustration. It can make or break a man. Often times it will do both, numerous times, in man’s life. But it’s a necessary step to finding someone you want to dedicate your life to. And when I say life, I mean life: your time, your money, your decisions, everything that is a part of your life will be “shared” with the person you choose to dedicate your life to. I’m sure some of you are already smiling and saying, “that’s why I’m single!” I say more power to you and live it up my friends. But I think the majority of men will choose to want to settle down at some point. For some it’s at 21, some 31, and hell for some it may not hit until 81.
Honestly, I have yet to find the woman I am going to settle down with. It’s not to say I’m not ready, but it takes two to go down that road. My search continues, and sometimes I get down on the whole dating scene. I’m the last of my circle of friends to settle down and it gives me the envy bug here and there. But there is another side of the coin that I have gotten to see.
More friends than I’d like to count, guys and girls, have gone through or are going through the big D… divorce. Some people have had the pleasure of going through it more than once (sarcasm). But, I’m not here to criticize people’s choices and Monday morning quarterback them. In some cases I don’t even know if there were any red flags that could have given any warning. But shit happens nonetheless.
In the best-case scenario, they will get to deal with the heart and headache of the legal proceedings that will lead to the separation. Now, everything that each of them has worked for gets to be fought over, and again in the best-case scenario, split evenly – not normally the case. And I haven’t even touched on the point of possibly having kids involved – But that’s another post altogether, because these days kids don’t always equal marriage.
Now hear me out, I am in no way trying to talk down the institution of marriage. In fact, I look forward to the day, also to having a family. But be aware, be very aware, that some decisions you make can affect the rest of your life. Not everything is in your control. So make the most of those factors that are. Talk openly. Be very real. Your dating phase will be the foundation of what may come. If it’s anything less than solid, don’t expect marriage to make things better. Choose wisely.
“This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time”
– Fightclub
Experts say that your personality is formed by age 7. And until your early teenage years you are usually under the protective thumb of your parents, guiding you away from danger and bad decisions. But before you know it you get to make your own decisions, which in some way will direct your life down one of many paths. So it’s a good idea to figure out where you stand on certain issues sooner rather than later.
A lot of this happens rights in front you and you don’t even realize it. We tend to pick up the opinions of our family and friends because that’s what we see most often and until we expand our world (i.e. moving out on your own, going to college, etc) we take the opinions of our close social circle as gospel. But as we grow up/ mature we start to question things more, not necessarily to argue what we’ve been instilled with, but often times to attempt to explain our position to others. You’ll soon realize that your opinion may differ from your parents – which isn’t always a bad thing!
With the upcoming presidential elections, this is a great time to be more cognizant of your stance on all kinds of issues. By watching the daily news or grabbing any daily paper you can see both political parties arguing their views. One side of the other will resonate with you for your own reasons. Be aware of that and realize how you feel about these issues. Also think about why you choose “x” over “y”. This will give you good insight into your values and morals.
It’s good to know where you stand for all kinds of reasons. First, it will educate you on who you want to vote for. But also you’ll be more aware and informed, and in turn be able to hold your own in conversation. It will provide you insight on the type of person you want to date/marry, and what kind of citizen you want to be. You’ll know what types of products you’ll want to buy and use. You’ll feel better supporting or not supporting certain charities. You’ll view the world as an active participant instead of just following the crowd.
As a man it’s good to know where you stand and why. It shows you have an opinion and stand for something. It shows you are taking the lead in your life and choosing a side. It’s easy to be “on the fence” and not commit to either side. But a man knows where he stands and he can tell you why he believes in what he does.
GrowingUpGuy 