Archives for posts with tag: family

  

The holiday season comes upon us quicker than we always expect. One minute we are trying to figure out what character we want to be for Halloween and before we know it we are scurrying to make Thanksgiving plans and we have become the last minute shoppers trying to cross everything off our lists. It comes up fast and we see story after story of charitable giving and people without homes attending civic services to make sure everyone is included in the festivities. But we often forget about the people that get lost in between the down and out and the well to do.

There are still people out there dealing with loss and pain for a whole number of reasons. Some have lost loved one, some are losing loved ones, and some are just not able to be with the ones they love over the holidays. They appear normal, they smile, and they may not show their pain.

As you’re rushing around and wrapping your presents, don’t forget to reach out to those in the middle. A phone call, a text, an invite to dinner can make a world of difference to someone.

Also don’t forget to be grateful for what you have, however little, because there is undoubtedly someone out there with less…less to eat, less to unwrap, and less to make them smile. Be thankful when you wake up and have your family around you, that they are not hundreds of miles away, that you don’t have to be away from them for the day.

I had the opportunity to move on to new adventures years ago, but the downside is that it took me a good distance away from friends and family. It was a good choice to go, but it also means that we have to pick and choose the days we get to spend together.

The friends I have made over the years have become life family to me and I’m grateful to have each and every one of them. But even with them, my line of work has often taking me away in the middle of the night, on the weekends, and over the holidays. Fortunately I finally have enough time in where that doesn’t happen too often anymore, but when it does it makes me realized what I have.

So just a quick reminded that when uncle **** and cousin who know who start to drive you crazy, it’s still nice to have family near- by, at least for the day 😉

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You’ll read a ton of tips this season teaching you how to be a good host. But people never talk about being a good guest. You probably won’t even appreciate that thought until you begin to host people at your house for a meal, or a weekend, or longer … 

It’s great to have company and to catch up with old friends and family. But hosting takes work, and can take a toll on someone’s sanity with the wrong types of guests. 

  1. Be on time. You can’t control your flights and traffic problems. And no one will mind a few minutes here and there. But if dinner is at 3:00, arriving at 5:30 is unacceptable. 
  2. If you are picky or need certain criteria met. Say so ahead of time or suck it up. Your host wants to cater to you and share what they have. No one likes hearing you ate before coming to dinne or refuse to eat what is being served.
  3. If you’re staying for a couple days, prepare to and offer to entertain yourself for a couple hours or even a day. Go sight seeing, go for a walk, explore the neighborhood. You host may appreciate the moment of downtime to throw in the laundry, clean up the house a bit, or just take a breath. 
  4. Do some research ahead of time and have a few ideas of things you like to do or see. There is nothing harder than trying to guess what will make people happy or keep their interest. Different people have different ideas of fun.
  5. Offer to help the host but also accept being the guest. Don’t take over their house – allow the host to host you. 
  6. Don’t treat the house like your home, but treat it like their home. No need for you to be rearranging how they keep things or to allow kids to “explore” every room. 
  7. Don’t come empty handed. If you can’t cook, bring a bottle of wine or buy an appetizer. (I personally always bring one bottle of red and one bottle of white – can’t go wrong). 
  8. Take note at how they keep their house. Leave the bathroom relatively like you found it. If you found wet towels laying on the floor, then it’s probably cool with them if you do it 😉 
  9. Read the crowd. If everyone else has left or gone to bed, check with the host and see if it’s time to go.
  10. Don’t forget to return the favor. Don’t always be the guest. Offer to to be the host once in a while – and hope your guest have read this article too! 

Too often the holidays come around and we think it is a time for family. And to many, family means relatives, by blood or by marriage. But does it really stop there?

Over the years I have moved away from my family to reach my own personal goals. All of my family lives a plane ride away. Needless to say, I have made new friends throughout my travels, both in my new home area and on my many journeys’. And I’m proud to say that many of these new friends have become very close friends. We have had amazing adventures together, shared very good times and very bad times together.

Although there have been years that I have not been able to spend the actual holiday with my blood family, I have always been able to get back home to see them “around” the holidays. This year is the first year where I have not been able to get back to them. Even after taking a new position at work afforded my more time off, I found that I accidently planned a foreign trip pretty close to the holiday season. I made the decision to skip going home, after the trip, and for the holidays. It became costly for airfare and was going to be a lot of traveling.

My family was very understanding and thanks to modern conveniences of Facebook, speaker phone, and Skype I was still able to see their shining faces for the holiday. But the wondered what I would spend my holiday doing “all by myself.”

I found that family does not always mean blood. I ended spending my holiday with some very special people, none of which were my relatives. Some of us exchanged gifts – very well thought out gifts I must say! We all came together and made a great meal and shared some laughs. It ended up being an excellent day.

I did miss being with my blood family, but it was wonderful to see how important a close group of friends can be. Family truly does not have to be blood.

Which non-relatives did you reach out to this holiday season? Did you include those special people of your life in your holiday celebrations?

I came across this on Facebook, as shared post. It’s from a blog, ” Single dad laughing”, who had re-posted it after finding it on another blog, “Diapers and Daisies.” I couldn’t help but continue to share it. After all, we are trying to be better men aren’t we??

1. Love his Mother. He will learn to love like you love, and hate like you hate. So choose love for both of you. Devote yourself to it. Love with your whole heart and express that love each and every day. Then, someday down the road, you will see the way he loves his own wife, and know that you played a part in that.

2. Let him drive. Every child remembers the first time they drove on daddy’s lap. For that one moment, he will believe that he is just. like. you.

3. Teach him to be picky. Especially when it comes to women and burgers. Teach him to never settle.

4. Take him to a ball game. There is something about sharing a day of hot dogs, sunshine and baseball with your father.

5. Love with Bravery. Boys have this preconceived notion that they have to be tough. When he is young, he will express his love fully and innocently. As he grows, he will hide his feelings and wipe off kisses. Teach him to be a man who rubs them in instead. It takes courage for a man to show love: teach him to be courageous.

6. Talk about sex. Sometimes, boys need to know that all men are created equal.

7. Teach him to be a man’s man. Show him how to be brave and tough around the guys. Then, remind him on the ride home that it is okay to cry.

8. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let him tell you about girls, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. He is not only your son, you are not only his father. Be his friend too.

9. Teach him manners. Because sometimes you have to be his father, not just his friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

10. Teach him when to stand-up and when to walk away. He should know that he doesn’t have to throw punches to prove he is right. He may not always be right. Make sure he knows how to demand respect- he is worthy of it. It does not mean he has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence.

11. Teach him to choose his battles. Make sure he knows which battles are worth fighting- like for family or his favorite baseball team. Remind him that people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help him to understand when to shut his mouth and walk-away. Teach him to be the bigger- the better- person.

12. Let him dance in tighty whiteys. Dance alongside him in yours. Teach him that there are moments when it is okay to be absolutely ridiculous.

13. Share music. Introduce him to the classics and learn the words to the not-so-classics. Create a rock band with wooden instruments, share your earphones, and blast Pink Floyd in the car. Create a soundtrack to your lives together.

14. Let him win. Sometimes he needs to know that big things are possible.

15. Teach him about family. Let him know family is always worth fighting for. Family is always worth standing up for. At the end of the day, he has you to fall back on, and pray to God that you will have him.

16. Father him. Being a father—to him—is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with him the joys of fatherhood, so one day he will want to be a father too. Remind him over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love him like you love him.

17. Listen to him now. If you don’t listen to the little things now, he won’t share the big things later.

18. Let him try on your shoes. Even if they are old and smelly. Let him slip his little feet in and watch him as he hopes like hell that someday he can fill them. He will fill them.

19. Give him bear hugs. The kind that squeezes his insides and make him giggle. The kind of hug only a daddy can give.

20. Give him baths. Because Mom can’t do everything damnit.

21. Teach him how to pee standing up. Let him pee outside- such is the joy of being a man. Mom cannot teach this talent, so someone has to.

22. Know the answers. He will assume you do. If you don’t know them, pretend you do and look them up later.

23. Toss him around. Because little boys love seeing the strength of their father. Throw him up in the air, so that he knows you will always be there to catch him on his way down.

24. Ask his mother. He will come to you with questions that he won’t always want to ask his mother, about girls and about love. Ask her anyway, she will know the answers.

25. Love him like you would love a daughter. Little girls are not the only ones who need hugs and kisses. Love is the color yellow of emotions. It is both happy and gender neutral.

26. Grow a big belly. Because every child should get the chance to rest there head on the absolute softest pillow ever. Daddy’s belly is the best place to land.

27. Don’t say, do. American inventor, Charles F. Kettering once said, “every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice.” Be a good one.

28. Be his hero. You are anyway. To him, you have the strength of Batman, the speed of Spiderman and the brain of Ironman. Don’t disappointment. Prove to him that Daddy’s are the biggest heroes of all. Only Daddy’s can save the day.

“After all, good fathers make good sons.”

I couldn’t agree more!