Archives for the month of: October, 2013

life is full of social events, football season, holiday parties, work events, you name it. Do not be the guy who walks up to the bar with a lost look on his face when the bartender asks “what can I get cha?”

Every guy needs to have a default drink he can order fast. And it doesn’t have to be alcohol. And there will be plenty of times where you can ask for the wine list and take your time and chit chat while you decide if that beer is too dark or too light.

But be a man and know what you like. It can be as easy as ordering a light beer. Or soda water and line. But have something in your mind when you buddy finally get the bartenders attention and your asked what you’re having.

My preferences change depending on my mood and the setting. If I’m watching a game, I’ll have a beer. If I’m in a nice Italian restaurant, I like a glass of Cabernet. But the point is, I know what I like.

If you’re not sure what you like, try some stuff when you are out to dinner, or when your home relaxing.

But don’t be the guy standing there with the “deer in headlights” look on your face when it’s your turn to order.

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I was speaking with a friend last night and we got on the topic of first impressions. And they asked me “do you really think clothing affects first impressions or is that people just being shallow?”

I responded, Unequivocally, yes, dress matters – and here’s why:

Years ago a study of “cop-killers” was done. The interview went to prisons and spoke with people who had been convicted of killing a police officer. There was numerous things the study wanted to inquire about, but one surprising lesson came up about dress.

One of the inmates told the following story:

He said he woke up angry one day. He sat up in bed and told himself “You’re gonna kill a cop today.” He decided that the first police officer he came across, he would kill.

So, he said he got dressed and got on with his mission. He left his home for a walk, determined that he would kill the first police officer he saw.

They asked him if he carried out that plan, and he said “yes and no.” He went on to explain that the first officer he saw was directing traffic. The inmate reported that he stood at the corner of the intersection and watched the officer for about 10 minutes. He said there was a lot of opportunities when the officer had his back to him.

But as the inmate watched the officer, he saw that the officer had his uniform pressed. His shoes were shined. He appeared to be in good shape. The inmate said he got the impression that this officer was serious. He had his sh*t together. He appeared very professional. The inmate said that he felt that if he engaged in a shoot-out with this officer, the officer would react with his professionalism and seriousness and clearly win…. So he walked away. The officer never even knew he was there.

But the inmate said he continued on his walk. He came across an officer that was clearly out of shape. His uniform didn’t fit. He said it looked like he just didn’t care. He engaged THAT officer, and killed him.

Now, who knows if the first officer would have won. But that story illustrates the power of impression.

Care about your appearance, at least your professional appearance. Own the room, meeting, interview, sales pitch, etc when you walk in. Impression are made fast, and often times far before you will have the chance to explain your resume and personality.

Dress the part.

“The expert in anything was once a beginner”

Oh how we forget this… We look at people and admire them for their skills and knowledge in certain areas. We allow that admiration to morph into intimidation. We start to question our own abilities and tell ourselves we are good enough to match those experts. We sell ourselves short.

We end up not applying for that job, not going out for the team, not bothering to delve deeper into our hobbies.

What if all the “experts” of their fields would have thought like that? It sure would have been a waste of unknown talent…