Archives for the month of: July, 2014

I was a a little tied up last week dealing with a life long fear. It’s nothing crazy – I was not battling cancer, swimming with sharks, or crawling through snakes – I was asked to speak in front of a group and present a topic. Yea yeah yea I know this is not ultimate craziness but the elements behind it go deeper.

I have always been out spoken and very friendly. Ever since I was able to speak I was known to talk to anyone and everyone – about just about anything! But when assigned with the task I would always freeze up. From class assignments throughout school to best man speeches, public speaking has always just hit me the wrong way.

I was very aware of this fear and analyzed myself over and over again. Why was I so afraid?? I truly don’t know but here is what I came up with: I was not confident that people would want to hear what I have to say. I was fearful that those I would be speaking to would jump up and correct what I was saying. Maybe I was fearful of being judged. All of this despite that my daily role involved taking charge of groups and being an authority figure.

So when I was asked last week, at the last minute, to present at a local university I felt like this was my chance. Well, first every fear and negative thought about public speaking hit me. Only after that I decided – quite literally – the hell with it. I talk to people all the time. I know my topic because it’s my life. I decided I would just talk to the group like I was talking anyone else any other day.

I had one day to prepare for a 30 minute slot, with a question and answer portion. I felt good – then I worried that I wouldn’t be able to fill up 30 minutes !

In the end the professor of the class cancelled the second hour she had planned and allowed me to continue speaking. I spoke for over 2 hours. I was told it was the most engaged the class had ever been. I was honored to hold their attention! More importantly I was so glad I did not let fear control me.

Judging by the feedback, I owned it. That’s not easy for me to say because I’m normally modest. But how many times have you been your own worst enemy and held yourself back from your potential?

What do you have inside you? What will it take for YOU to believe in YOU. Fear is ok. Try it. If it doesn’t work out, step back and regroup. But get back In there. If you don’t give yourself a chance – who will??

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“Fear is what you make of it”

– Fear only exist in your mind. It is created by a multitude of factors that your mind weaves into emotion. Often times your mind will exaggerate these emotions far beyond the reality of the situation. Face your fear. Face reality. Control your fear, Don’t let fear control you.

I HATE making more than one trip with groceries …

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Living in a hot climate, people give me the awkward eye when I add ice to beer and/ or wine. This is a classy alternative.

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If you’re lucky you will meet countless people throughout your life in many different settings. Some will be strictly acquaintances that you know from work or through other friends. Some will grow into true friendships, and other may grow into more.

Realistically, it is nearly impossible for all of these relationships to stay strong throughout your life. You will meet them in different setting during different times of your life. Your interests should and probably will evolve and change over time. The person you enjoyed running track with in high school, may or may not be the same person you want to be your best man. As you become more interested in your kids soccer games, your happy hour friends may stay at the bar.

No matter what the reason for the change, you should learn something about yourself in the process and not keep any negative feelings when different people take different paths. Just as you change and grow so will these people you crossed paths with. If you are very lucky, even as you both change, you will be able to hold strong with a handful of these bonds you made over the years. And if you have any control over it, you should certainly work to make that happen. As long as you presented the real you when you met, and they did the same, it should be a mutual respect to see the paths each of you take. There should be no hard feelings but only well-wishes.

I was fortunate enough to grow up with a great group of guys and girls.
Our “group” started to come together when we were 3 years old. More joined as we were in kindergarten. We went through high school and on to college together. We were a part of each others weddings, divorces, children being born, and every other milestone you can think of. Yet during all that we each moved across the country, took different paths, and continue to live very different lives. Yet we never lost touch. We reunited this past weekend (as we often try to do at least once a year) with the largest number of us in years. We brought out parents, and our kids.

Even with life taking different, and not always good, courses for each of us we keep our bond of friendship strong.

Make it a point to keep in touch with those who matter to you. The phone works both ways, the internet makes things incredibly easy. There is no excuse to lose touch unless touch wants to be lost.

Remember those people who you can be true with and remember the good times you shared.

“Always prepare for the worst case scenario, then the rest will be easy”

(My apologies for the delay, I’m on the road this weekend and fighting for good cell signals)

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Finding out who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, and what holds your passions might be one of life’s best adventures – and sadly tons of people never take the ride.

Too many people live their lives based on what someone else think is best for them or to please some one besides themselves. Sometimes that may work out but often times people settle for less than their own wants.

You get to decide what makes you happy. You get to decide how you will spend your work week, who you will hang out with, and what you will do in your free time.

Some people find their answers later than others but at least they are looking. You should never settle for less than what makes you happy. Sure, compromise will come into play throughout life, but part of compromise is still walking away satisfied. If you aren’t satisfied then you have given up too much.

Find yourself, find what makes you happy, chase it, capture it, and indulge in it. Don’t be a nomadic soul.

The more obstacles you overcome, the stronger you become. Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving; you get stronger and more resilient.

– everyday life lessons