Archives for category: Relationships

social media

The social media acknowledgment, specifically the birthday reminders; some say this digital act is informal, heartless, and insincere. Clearly this is not the best method to use for your loved ones and those closest to you. Reach out to them, talk to them, maybe even spend the day with them when the occasion comes up. But don’t completely disregard the small act of using social media for wishing someone a happy birthday or “thinking of you.”

You never know what’s going on in someone’s life. Social media has given us the tools to keep in touch, or at least up to date, with people that we would probably otherwise lose touch with altogether.

Around the time of my birthday I had all kinds of things on my mind that had me stressed out. Some people knew about these things but most didn’t. So needless to say, I felt kind of alone at times. But I remember seeing the birthday wishes from people from all stages of my life, who are also geographically all over the world now. It didn’t take those people more than 10 seconds and zero money to write a three word post and send it off. But it meant the world to me.

Some of those people I still see and talk to on a somewhat regular basis. But for many of them, we only stay connected through social media. When I saw their posts and birthday wishes, it was so uplifting. It was more than just seeing that they were wishing me a happy birthday. It was a moment where I reminisced in my mind about how or when those people paths crossed mine. And I am a huge believer that everything happens for a reason!

Now knowing what it meant to me, I make it a point everyday to acknowledge those reminders and reach out to say a quick hello.

Don’t discount those small random acts that you may think are informal, insincere, and meaningless. You have no idea what that other person may be going through at that time and it just might mean the world to them.

Advertisements

  

The holiday season comes upon us quicker than we always expect. One minute we are trying to figure out what character we want to be for Halloween and before we know it we are scurrying to make Thanksgiving plans and we have become the last minute shoppers trying to cross everything off our lists. It comes up fast and we see story after story of charitable giving and people without homes attending civic services to make sure everyone is included in the festivities. But we often forget about the people that get lost in between the down and out and the well to do.

There are still people out there dealing with loss and pain for a whole number of reasons. Some have lost loved one, some are losing loved ones, and some are just not able to be with the ones they love over the holidays. They appear normal, they smile, and they may not show their pain.

As you’re rushing around and wrapping your presents, don’t forget to reach out to those in the middle. A phone call, a text, an invite to dinner can make a world of difference to someone.

Also don’t forget to be grateful for what you have, however little, because there is undoubtedly someone out there with less…less to eat, less to unwrap, and less to make them smile. Be thankful when you wake up and have your family around you, that they are not hundreds of miles away, that you don’t have to be away from them for the day.

I had the opportunity to move on to new adventures years ago, but the downside is that it took me a good distance away from friends and family. It was a good choice to go, but it also means that we have to pick and choose the days we get to spend together.

The friends I have made over the years have become life family to me and I’m grateful to have each and every one of them. But even with them, my line of work has often taking me away in the middle of the night, on the weekends, and over the holidays. Fortunately I finally have enough time in where that doesn’t happen too often anymore, but when it does it makes me realized what I have.

So just a quick reminded that when uncle **** and cousin who know who start to drive you crazy, it’s still nice to have family near- by, at least for the day 😉

  
You’ll read a ton of tips this season teaching you how to be a good host. But people never talk about being a good guest. You probably won’t even appreciate that thought until you begin to host people at your house for a meal, or a weekend, or longer … 

It’s great to have company and to catch up with old friends and family. But hosting takes work, and can take a toll on someone’s sanity with the wrong types of guests. 

  1. Be on time. You can’t control your flights and traffic problems. And no one will mind a few minutes here and there. But if dinner is at 3:00, arriving at 5:30 is unacceptable. 
  2. If you are picky or need certain criteria met. Say so ahead of time or suck it up. Your host wants to cater to you and share what they have. No one likes hearing you ate before coming to dinne or refuse to eat what is being served.
  3. If you’re staying for a couple days, prepare to and offer to entertain yourself for a couple hours or even a day. Go sight seeing, go for a walk, explore the neighborhood. You host may appreciate the moment of downtime to throw in the laundry, clean up the house a bit, or just take a breath. 
  4. Do some research ahead of time and have a few ideas of things you like to do or see. There is nothing harder than trying to guess what will make people happy or keep their interest. Different people have different ideas of fun.
  5. Offer to help the host but also accept being the guest. Don’t take over their house – allow the host to host you. 
  6. Don’t treat the house like your home, but treat it like their home. No need for you to be rearranging how they keep things or to allow kids to “explore” every room. 
  7. Don’t come empty handed. If you can’t cook, bring a bottle of wine or buy an appetizer. (I personally always bring one bottle of red and one bottle of white – can’t go wrong). 
  8. Take note at how they keep their house. Leave the bathroom relatively like you found it. If you found wet towels laying on the floor, then it’s probably cool with them if you do it 😉 
  9. Read the crowd. If everyone else has left or gone to bed, check with the host and see if it’s time to go.
  10. Don’t forget to return the favor. Don’t always be the guest. Offer to to be the host once in a while – and hope your guest have read this article too! 

  
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

We are each dealt a different set of cards for our lives. And as children we are often left without choice because we are under the thumb of our parents. But as we get older and become adults, as we become men, we do have choices. At some point we have to take responsibility for our next step. We have to drop the victim mentally and become leaders of our own lives..

If you aren’t happy with your results decide what the hell you’re going to do about it instead of who you can blame. 

  
It would be nice to know which decision you were supposed to make each step of the way as you move through life. But life is not that simple. We all get to have different experiences, different emotions, different goals, and different preferences, You always have to be true to your own heart and follow your own path.

Even those closest to you may question your decisions and not see what you see, but that’s ok, because it’s not their path. People get caught up trying to model the path they have seen others take, regardless if it seems like the best option. But people see a path that has already been forged easier than blazing their own.

Have you ever taken a vacation? Which is more fun, experiencing things on your own and finding hidden gems or following the path and suggestions that someone else has provided for you? Both may be fun, but in the latter you are riding on the heels of those before you. Don’t be afraid to to be your own explorer.

Life is your book to write. And it has to be written to your standards. Anything less will leave you displeased. This means you may have to make the unpopular decision at times, take the path least recommended, and go against peoples advice.

But remember, this is your story to tell. Be true to yourself.

 “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

~Eleanor Roosevelt

                   

It always sucks to be the new guy – in any career field or job. It was especially hard for me because I’m so impatient by nature. I remember being mad that I wasn’t old enough to enter my field. And when I finally did, I was always in awe of my mentors stories, resumes, and accomplishments. 

Even people I knew who didn’t have formal educations had so much work experience, and life experience for that matter! That had real world expertise doing all the things I couldn’t wait to do – things that I dreamt of having the opportunity to do. 

Recently I was gathering some paperwork for some possible new ventures and had to gather my resume and transcripts. And I have to say it was a little ego boost. Not because I wanted to run through the streets bragging about anything but because I sat there and looked at classes I had taken, awards I had received, and it all led to different professional milestones in my life. 

After looking over everything I was very proud of myself for chasing my dream. I was the architect of my life. But not everything was perfect. I found “F’s” in some classes and old applications for jobs I didn’t get. But it made me smile to know that I tried and didn’t have to wonder what might have been. 

Don’t ever hesitate to chase your dreams. Go after what you want – because you want it. Don’t follow a path that someone else wants you to or deny yourself your dream because someone else thinks it won’t be good for you. You need to be the architect of your life, chase your dreams, and be able to look back and smile at all that you achieve. 

I think it’s everyone’s ideal plan to find meaningful and satisfying work. Not everyone is driving to their dream job every morning, but I think most people mostly enjoy what they do. (If not I hope those people seek change fast!) but what about your non-working hours? You should enjoy your job and it will somewhat define you, but you have to have a personal life too.

More and more people I talk to do not know what they enjoy doing in their free time. I’m both baffled by this and yet not surprised. Once you update your status, put the kids to sleep, and get to your “me time”, what fills your head?

The possibilities are endless. And you have to have something to go to when you need to clear your mind or just simply seek pleasure.

Some of mine include cooking, motorcycles, trying new restaurants, watching football, running, being outdoors, and traveling. And that really is only the tip of the iceberg for me. So it seems hard to believe that someone wouldn’t know what they enjoy doing. Yet, so many people have not taken time to discover themselves or simply don’t pursue their interests.

It’s these interests that will define you outside of work. It’s these interests that will keep you sane when work gets rough (and it will). And it’s these interests that can be the foundation of a job that is truly one of your dream jobs.

Don’t be the person seeking every hour of overtime the boss offers. Spend time with your kids. Make plans with your significant other. And if you are without either of those – go make some friends and enjoy everything this world has to offer. Otherwise, you might need to ask yourself what you are working for in the first place …

Some people need direction. Some people seem to make every wrong decision possible. But lets assume you are a pretty logical person. Even if you have some different goals and different interests. Maybe your parents wanted you to be a lawyer and still question your decisions. That’s ok. They are parents and they are people. And everyone has an opinion. But make sure you have your own also.

You’ll see your friends buy new shiny and expensive things. It will move you. Maybe it will even make you angry. (Admit it – you’ve gotten angry.) But don’t. Be your own person. Create your own kingdom.

If the things you want happen to match your neighbors – so be it. Just make sure your decisions – decisions to buy, decisions to act – are your own. If you can manage that then you are golden.

People will always question your decisions. But you are not there to make sure everyone else is happy. They live their life and you live yours. If it works for you and the people that depend on you then go ahead with your bad self. Once someone else is cutting the check or walking in your shoes, then they can make decisions for you.

Everyone has one life to live, so make sure you are getting what you want out of it.

The news has been inundated this week with the death of another famous person. This time, an older one – who wasn’t caught up in the spotlight and party scene. Instead, as far as we know, had a loving family, well established career, and enough fame and fortune to last several lifetimes.

We forget to see the simple lesson of this recent death: that happiness is not a product of fame and fortune. It isn’t even a product of someone else’s love or doing. Happiness is found within your own person.

It is up to you to seek and find your inner peace. Sometimes there may be medical help that is necessary or control of your vices to find it. But it remains a personal journey for you and only you to undertake. It only starts when your ready and it will only be found with your dedication. But failing to accept the challenge will not only affect you but in a ripple affect – those close to you also.

Life is short and precious and only you can choose to live it.