Archives for category: Values
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Create your path and follow it

June 4, 2014 //
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You have heard quips and quotes about everyone having the same amount of hours in a day/week/month/ year and how they use them. But more and more I see people utilizing all their hours/ days/ weeks/ months and still being stressed out about wanting more. This is a good thing – the wanting more, but do not stress out about it. It’s call priority, and it’s up to you to organize yourself.

I find myself hearing people “complain” in these situations. I always tell them that something’s gotta give !

As long as you are following your passions and living your heart, don’t stress.

I am a man with no patience, zero patience. When my mind gets stuck on something I want it now, immediately, all of it. But I have to remind myself that life doesn’t work that way – unless you are a lottery winner.

Things happen in stages. You have to stair-step your way up to your goal. I look at everything I have in life and have to constantly remind myself that it took all the years of my life to get here.

As long as you are using your time wisely – to whatever you determine is wisely, then you can relax!

People will judge you. People will disagree with you. People will seem to be ahead of you with your goals and you will feel discouraged. Don’t!

Continue to take the steps on your path, one at a time. You won’t even realize how far you have gone until you have reached your goal.

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Categories Career, health, mindset, money, Values

Own yourself

May 28, 2014 //
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Few people want to be a bad guy or do well being the odd man out. But the world is filled with an endless number of opinions and lifestyles and beliefs. By saying that I don’t mean that it’s necessary for someone to be the bad guy but instead that you cannot please everyone. Even at your very best, there will be someone who disagrees or dislikes you.

Human nature includes jealousy, greed, and envy. Some people do better at controlling those emotions than others, but they still exist.

For your own peace of mind you have to just be the best person you can be and accept that you still won’t please everyone. You have to accept that everyone won’t please you.

Get over it, agree to disagree. Accept that differences make the world go ’round. Life without variety would be dull. Part of being your own man means having your own style – but more importantly – it means owning it.

If you aren’t happy with yourself, why should anyone else be?

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Categories mindset, social, Values

Road trippin’

May 8, 2014 //
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Daily life happens to wind itself to a grind pretty quickly. Cubicles, computers, and deadlines seem to rule the day. We all strive for vacation but sometimes even that seems like a chore. Security lines, crowds, and agendas. Have you ever said “I need a vacation from my vacation?”

I recently got a last minute invite to see my mother and sister for Mother’s Day. But being last minute meant sky high airline prices. So I added a day on each end of the trip and decided to drive!

18 hours, 3 states, and memories for a lifetime. I was able to see the countryside from the road. I smelled the farms, and talked with the locals. It was on my time. I stopped when I wanted to and sped by when I didn’t.

Sometimes you need to throw caution to the wind. Wonder where the next gas stop is. Find a hotel when you get there. Eat what the local recommend.
That is living – that is vacation!

Now let’s see how surprised my mom is when I pull up and surprise her 🙂

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Categories Family, Relationships, Values

The Dualalities of life

April 30, 2014 //
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Think of the ebb and flows of life. You have been happy, but you have been sad. You have been energized, but you have been tired. You have succeeded and some things, and surely you have failed once or twice. These ups and downs is the essence of the world.

One doesn’t exist without the other and I don’t think we would want it to. No one enjoys sadness, but we wouldn’t be able to appreciate and know happiness without it. We couldn’t remain productive and motivated without the occasionally bout of procrastination and laziness.

So the next time you are at a low point, know it will get better. Compare it to your good times and cherish those memories. Use them as motivation to pick yourself back up. And the next time you on a high of life, embrace it. Appreciate it and really be grateful of where your at. Remind yourself how you know what good feels like- because of the trials and tribulations that got you there.

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Categories mindset, Values

Want vs Need

April 23, 2014 //
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I’m notorious for always finding things I want. I’m not a shopaholic by any means, but I see new electronics or big ticket items I want all the time. But as I get older I find it easier to realize that want vs need is very different. Even though I always find new things to want, I have to remind myself that I have much more than I need.

It doesn’t take much to enjoy life and find happiness. In fact, you can do it with very little money if need be. You have to pay your bills and be over that stressful hump. But after that, the simplicities of life can be extremely cheap and greatly pleasing.

Every so often I take a weekend and make myself see how little I can spend. I find myself enjoying making breakfast at home (instead of going to the local coffee shop), going hiking (for free), grabbing a good book or magazine and relaxing at the community pool (for free), or having drinks with good friends at home with the game on (pretty cheap once we all contribute to the menu). Point being, some of life’s most relaxing moments cost very little and provide a great return.

So the next time you stress and wonder if you can afford some item or get envious at your what someone else has, ask yourself if you really need it or if you just want it. Instead, take a walk down a snowy road, enjoy the park and hearing the breeze blow through the trees, or digging your feet in the sand while you relax to the sound of the waves.

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Categories mindset, money, Values

Gratitude

April 21, 2014 //
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“Never let all the things you want make you forget about all the things you have.”

– everydaylifelessons.com

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Categories mindset, quotes, Values

I am what I am…

December 19, 2013 //
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This world is filled will many different viewpoints and opinions on every topic you can imagine. Some people are very passionate about their beliefs, even when the topic at hand may be mundane to others. Everyone who holds an opinion is convinced they have the “right” one and will try to convince you of that. There isn’t necessarily a problem with that, because it’s important that if you believe in something, you should be able to support with knowledge as to why you feel the way you do. Not only does that make you a good conversationalist, but it adds credit to your beliefs. “Just because” and “because I say so” are lame cop out responses.

More important that being able to defend your stance with facts is to first know where you stand. People form their opinions from a life filled with experiences unique to them. Some of them will be good and some of them will be bad but regardless, they are the foundation of their mindset.

It’s important to know where you stand on certain topics so you can develop your own personality. We often obtain our first opinions from our parents or from people we were close to growing up. When we are under their wing and have not yet had the chance to go out and explore the world on our own we hear their opinions and often assume they are all knowing and right. Sometimes we grow to find out we still agree with the ones we were close to but sometimes we grow and learn we think differently. That’s perfectly ok. It’s healthy to develop your own thoughts based on your own experiences.

Don’t be afraid to be your own man (or woman, for my female readers).

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Categories mindset, social, Values

Repost: 28 rules for fathers of sons

November 20, 2013 //
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I came across this on Facebook, as shared post. It’s from a blog, ” Single dad laughing”, who had re-posted it after finding it on another blog, “Diapers and Daisies.” I couldn’t help but continue to share it. After all, we are trying to be better men aren’t we??

1. Love his Mother. He will learn to love like you love, and hate like you hate. So choose love for both of you. Devote yourself to it. Love with your whole heart and express that love each and every day. Then, someday down the road, you will see the way he loves his own wife, and know that you played a part in that.

2. Let him drive. Every child remembers the first time they drove on daddy’s lap. For that one moment, he will believe that he is just. like. you.

3. Teach him to be picky. Especially when it comes to women and burgers. Teach him to never settle.

4. Take him to a ball game. There is something about sharing a day of hot dogs, sunshine and baseball with your father.

5. Love with Bravery. Boys have this preconceived notion that they have to be tough. When he is young, he will express his love fully and innocently. As he grows, he will hide his feelings and wipe off kisses. Teach him to be a man who rubs them in instead. It takes courage for a man to show love: teach him to be courageous.

6. Talk about sex. Sometimes, boys need to know that all men are created equal.

7. Teach him to be a man’s man. Show him how to be brave and tough around the guys. Then, remind him on the ride home that it is okay to cry.

8. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let him tell you about girls, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. He is not only your son, you are not only his father. Be his friend too.

9. Teach him manners. Because sometimes you have to be his father, not just his friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

10. Teach him when to stand-up and when to walk away. He should know that he doesn’t have to throw punches to prove he is right. He may not always be right. Make sure he knows how to demand respect- he is worthy of it. It does not mean he has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence.

11. Teach him to choose his battles. Make sure he knows which battles are worth fighting- like for family or his favorite baseball team. Remind him that people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help him to understand when to shut his mouth and walk-away. Teach him to be the bigger- the better- person.

12. Let him dance in tighty whiteys. Dance alongside him in yours. Teach him that there are moments when it is okay to be absolutely ridiculous.

13. Share music. Introduce him to the classics and learn the words to the not-so-classics. Create a rock band with wooden instruments, share your earphones, and blast Pink Floyd in the car. Create a soundtrack to your lives together.

14. Let him win. Sometimes he needs to know that big things are possible.

15. Teach him about family. Let him know family is always worth fighting for. Family is always worth standing up for. At the end of the day, he has you to fall back on, and pray to God that you will have him.

16. Father him. Being a father—to him—is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with him the joys of fatherhood, so one day he will want to be a father too. Remind him over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love him like you love him.

17. Listen to him now. If you don’t listen to the little things now, he won’t share the big things later.

18. Let him try on your shoes. Even if they are old and smelly. Let him slip his little feet in and watch him as he hopes like hell that someday he can fill them. He will fill them.

19. Give him bear hugs. The kind that squeezes his insides and make him giggle. The kind of hug only a daddy can give.

20. Give him baths. Because Mom can’t do everything damnit.

21. Teach him how to pee standing up. Let him pee outside- such is the joy of being a man. Mom cannot teach this talent, so someone has to.

22. Know the answers. He will assume you do. If you don’t know them, pretend you do and look them up later.

23. Toss him around. Because little boys love seeing the strength of their father. Throw him up in the air, so that he knows you will always be there to catch him on his way down.

24. Ask his mother. He will come to you with questions that he won’t always want to ask his mother, about girls and about love. Ask her anyway, she will know the answers.

25. Love him like you would love a daughter. Little girls are not the only ones who need hugs and kisses. Love is the color yellow of emotions. It is both happy and gender neutral.

26. Grow a big belly. Because every child should get the chance to rest there head on the absolute softest pillow ever. Daddy’s belly is the best place to land.

27. Don’t say, do. American inventor, Charles F. Kettering once said, “every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice.” Be a good one.

28. Be his hero. You are anyway. To him, you have the strength of Batman, the speed of Spiderman and the brain of Ironman. Don’t disappointment. Prove to him that Daddy’s are the biggest heroes of all. Only Daddy’s can save the day.

“After all, good fathers make good sons.”

I couldn’t agree more!

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Categories Relationships, sons, Values

Dress The Part

October 12, 2013 //
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I was speaking with a friend last night and we got on the topic of first impressions. And they asked me “do you really think clothing affects first impressions or is that people just being shallow?”

I responded, Unequivocally, yes, dress matters – and here’s why:

Years ago a study of “cop-killers” was done. The interview went to prisons and spoke with people who had been convicted of killing a police officer. There was numerous things the study wanted to inquire about, but one surprising lesson came up about dress.

One of the inmates told the following story:

He said he woke up angry one day. He sat up in bed and told himself “You’re gonna kill a cop today.” He decided that the first police officer he came across, he would kill.

So, he said he got dressed and got on with his mission. He left his home for a walk, determined that he would kill the first police officer he saw.

They asked him if he carried out that plan, and he said “yes and no.” He went on to explain that the first officer he saw was directing traffic. The inmate reported that he stood at the corner of the intersection and watched the officer for about 10 minutes. He said there was a lot of opportunities when the officer had his back to him.

But as the inmate watched the officer, he saw that the officer had his uniform pressed. His shoes were shined. He appeared to be in good shape. The inmate said he got the impression that this officer was serious. He had his sh*t together. He appeared very professional. The inmate said that he felt that if he engaged in a shoot-out with this officer, the officer would react with his professionalism and seriousness and clearly win…. So he walked away. The officer never even knew he was there.

But the inmate said he continued on his walk. He came across an officer that was clearly out of shape. His uniform didn’t fit. He said it looked like he just didn’t care. He engaged THAT officer, and killed him.

Now, who knows if the first officer would have won. But that story illustrates the power of impression.

Care about your appearance, at least your professional appearance. Own the room, meeting, interview, sales pitch, etc when you walk in. Impression are made fast, and often times far before you will have the chance to explain your resume and personality.

Dress the part.

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Categories Career, Values

Altruism

September 25, 2013 //
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Altruism

n

1. The principle or practice of unselfish concern for the welfare of others.
2. (Philosophy) the philosophical doctrine that right action is that which produces the greatest benefit to others.

Altruist (n)
Altruistic (adj)
Altruistically (adv)

I see people overlook simple actions that are potential good deeds in the making. And sadly these deeds can often occur at no cost and very little effort. Small random acts of kindness can restore our outlook in the world we live in. Here is my recent random experience:

I have wanted a king size bed for the longest time. I wanted it for no other reason that wanting more space. But I kept putting it off because of the cost and lack of necessity. After all, my queen size bed was really more than enough space. But I broke down and got the king anyway.

Ahhhhh paradise .. The bed was delivered and I began to sleep in diagonal bliss! My old queen mattress went to the spare room and my nearly never used bed from the spare room stood against a wall in my office for a week.

I intended to donate it to Goodwill if none of my Facebook friends could find anyone who wanted it. That was the extent of my research. But come to find out, Goodwill no longer accepts beds and I got like minded responses from friends: junk it, no one will want it, put it in the alley… Etc Etc…

But an old friend from college recommended a website called freecycle.com. I had never heard of it and had no idea what it was. Long story short, it’s basically a Craigslist but you post items you have or want all for free . Everything is free. You give it away and get things for free.

“Yea yea yea not that novel of an idea” is what I thought. But as I read the posts for items wanted, there were some people that were really in need of some help. There were single moms looking for baby items, people down on their luck needing furniture, all kinda of people just looking for help.

Within an hour I had an overwhelming number of responses. After a few text messages my “trash” quickly became someone else’s “treasure”. After the item changed hands I continued received messages from the family I donated to saying how thankful they were. That made me feel great! I told my college buddy this story and he simple replied “that site has helped me through some rough times…”

This story is not told to “toot my own horn” in anyway. I tell it to illustrate how easy it is to offer a random act of kindness. I am so happy I didn’t toss that bed in dumpster or alley as so many friends advised me to.

With just a small bit of research and the power of the internet a token of goodwill occurred.

What small complimentary thing can you do to make the world a better place?

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Categories mindset, Values
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