Archives for posts with tag: choice

“Being challenged in life is inevitable. Being defeated is optional.”

– anonymous

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The news has been inundated this week with the death of another famous person. This time, an older one – who wasn’t caught up in the spotlight and party scene. Instead, as far as we know, had a loving family, well established career, and enough fame and fortune to last several lifetimes.

We forget to see the simple lesson of this recent death: that happiness is not a product of fame and fortune. It isn’t even a product of someone else’s love or doing. Happiness is found within your own person.

It is up to you to seek and find your inner peace. Sometimes there may be medical help that is necessary or control of your vices to find it. But it remains a personal journey for you and only you to undertake. It only starts when your ready and it will only be found with your dedication. But failing to accept the challenge will not only affect you but in a ripple affect – those close to you also.

Life is short and precious and only you can choose to live it.

“Never marry a woman you wouldn’t want to be divorced from”

And for the ladie followers…

“Don’t marry a man unless you’d be proud to have a son exactly like him”

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I came across both of these quotes over the last week at separate times. It’s a different way of looking at an age old problem.

Then, I was talking to a woman at work who was having some very serious problems with her boyfriend. She was obviously pregnant, so I asked how far along she was. “8 months.” Knowing that the guy she was having problems with was only her boyfriend, I took the liberty in asking if the baby was his. Her response, “yea, unfortunately..”

Knowing the problems she was having, I wasn’t that stunned by her answer. But as the day went on I couldn’t help but think about her situation. Sadly, I think her feelings are more common than we think.

I hear about people battling horrible divorces and child custody disputes. The kids are not the problem, it’s the ex lover who battles over the kids that is. But everyone involved is affected.

When you see warning signs early on in a relationship it would be very smart of you to think about what they are saying.

You have to choose wisely. Abrupt, lustful decisions can alter your entire life..

Some people are risk takers. Real men take calculated risks. See the above quotes – then decide…

Change change change….

Change is good. Yet most of us are scared of it. We get comfortable where we are and what we are doing in a multitude of scenarios. We know we have to “let things play” and we are told that “nothing is perfect” so when things aren’t good we accept it as gospel. But we have to embrace change. For one, it will always happen, like it or not, you will never be able to avoid it.

You will grow up. Your skills will change. Some will improve, others will go away altogether. Your interests will change, or they should. You don’t ever have to lose your old interests but you should be going out and exploring the world. It would be hard to imagine anyone not finding anything else that interests him or her besides what they already know.

All progress includes moving forward. Pretty logical right? But most people will stammer and stall and wonder about moving forward. We put a lot of effort into becoming comfortable with what we have. Its never easy to be the new guy in any situation, from a relationship to a new job setting.

You have two choices: 1) you can let the world pass you by and accept what falls into your lap, or 2) you can actively chase what outcomes YOU want. Regardless of the choice you make, the world will continue to spin.

I recently made some forward progress myself. (My apologies because I know it affected my posting) I spent 13 years in a job that was my dream job. It still is. But I felt I was ready for a new challenge. I’m the type of person who likes to have goals and projects that I am working towards. But I fell into a rut over the years. I actually hate to say rut because I excelled in my field and enjoyed being the experienced person who could answer questions and train new people. But ultimately I wanted to do more for me. But I was hesitant to leave my dream job fearing that everything I love about it would be hard to outdo.

With much support and soul searching I took the leap to explore more of my world. I actually stayed in my field, so it’s still very much my dream job. But it’s an entirely different aspect of it. It has only been 2 weeks but I am loving it. I have a lot to learn but have been able to bring my experiences with me.

I always look at our retirement bulletins at work. They always post a condensed version of the persons resume listed the areas they have worked and some of their accomplishments. I always feel sad when I see a person has only done one thing for X amount of years. I get motivated when I see someone who has been all over the company, using all different kinds of skills. Imagine the knowledge and experiences he or she has picked up over the years.

No one would have forced my hand. They wont force yours either. Opportunities will come and go. They will float right past you. Some will be better than others. But ultimately it will be up to you to reach for one of them and take the risk.