Your needs matter too. Don’t ignore them. Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.
– everydaylifelessons.com
Archives for category: Career
Don’t be the guy that lives in a box; one that only does what he’s told to do, only what he is assigned, just the bare minimum.
Life doesn’t occur in a box with set parameters. Sometimes you will have to stay late. Sometimes you will have to do more than your fair share. Sometimes you will find yourself doing things that “aren’t in your job description.”
Have a work ethic to get the job done. Don’t be afraid to go above and beyond. Take some personal leadership and do what you do well.
We all have a guy we work with who doesn’t carry his own weight, never can stay late, and is incredibly mediocre. Don’t be that guy.
Anyone can be a robot and complete tasks as they are dished out, but few people can be the go-to-guy where people know the job will get done and get done well.
“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.”
– Henry Ford
You have heard quips and quotes about everyone having the same amount of hours in a day/week/month/ year and how they use them. But more and more I see people utilizing all their hours/ days/ weeks/ months and still being stressed out about wanting more. This is a good thing – the wanting more, but do not stress out about it. It’s call priority, and it’s up to you to organize yourself.
I find myself hearing people “complain” in these situations. I always tell them that something’s gotta give !
As long as you are following your passions and living your heart, don’t stress.
I am a man with no patience, zero patience. When my mind gets stuck on something I want it now, immediately, all of it. But I have to remind myself that life doesn’t work that way – unless you are a lottery winner.
Things happen in stages. You have to stair-step your way up to your goal. I look at everything I have in life and have to constantly remind myself that it took all the years of my life to get here.
As long as you are using your time wisely – to whatever you determine is wisely, then you can relax!
People will judge you. People will disagree with you. People will seem to be ahead of you with your goals and you will feel discouraged. Don’t!
Continue to take the steps on your path, one at a time. You won’t even realize how far you have gone until you have reached your goal.
– Guys: show your sons!
– Ladies: if you guy doesn’t know how to do this, you can win major keeper points by showing him.
I was speaking with a friend last night and we got on the topic of first impressions. And they asked me “do you really think clothing affects first impressions or is that people just being shallow?”
I responded, Unequivocally, yes, dress matters – and here’s why:
Years ago a study of “cop-killers” was done. The interview went to prisons and spoke with people who had been convicted of killing a police officer. There was numerous things the study wanted to inquire about, but one surprising lesson came up about dress.
One of the inmates told the following story:
He said he woke up angry one day. He sat up in bed and told himself “You’re gonna kill a cop today.” He decided that the first police officer he came across, he would kill.
So, he said he got dressed and got on with his mission. He left his home for a walk, determined that he would kill the first police officer he saw.
They asked him if he carried out that plan, and he said “yes and no.” He went on to explain that the first officer he saw was directing traffic. The inmate reported that he stood at the corner of the intersection and watched the officer for about 10 minutes. He said there was a lot of opportunities when the officer had his back to him.
But as the inmate watched the officer, he saw that the officer had his uniform pressed. His shoes were shined. He appeared to be in good shape. The inmate said he got the impression that this officer was serious. He had his sh*t together. He appeared very professional. The inmate said that he felt that if he engaged in a shoot-out with this officer, the officer would react with his professionalism and seriousness and clearly win…. So he walked away. The officer never even knew he was there.
But the inmate said he continued on his walk. He came across an officer that was clearly out of shape. His uniform didn’t fit. He said it looked like he just didn’t care. He engaged THAT officer, and killed him.
Now, who knows if the first officer would have won. But that story illustrates the power of impression.
Care about your appearance, at least your professional appearance. Own the room, meeting, interview, sales pitch, etc when you walk in. Impression are made fast, and often times far before you will have the chance to explain your resume and personality.
Dress the part.
“The expert in anything was once a beginner”
Oh how we forget this… We look at people and admire them for their skills and knowledge in certain areas. We allow that admiration to morph into intimidation. We start to question our own abilities and tell ourselves we are good enough to match those experts. We sell ourselves short.
We end up not applying for that job, not going out for the team, not bothering to delve deeper into our hobbies.
What if all the “experts” of their fields would have thought like that? It sure would have been a waste of unknown talent…
Change change change….
Change is good. Yet most of us are scared of it. We get comfortable where we are and what we are doing in a multitude of scenarios. We know we have to “let things play” and we are told that “nothing is perfect” so when things aren’t good we accept it as gospel. But we have to embrace change. For one, it will always happen, like it or not, you will never be able to avoid it.
You will grow up. Your skills will change. Some will improve, others will go away altogether. Your interests will change, or they should. You don’t ever have to lose your old interests but you should be going out and exploring the world. It would be hard to imagine anyone not finding anything else that interests him or her besides what they already know.
All progress includes moving forward. Pretty logical right? But most people will stammer and stall and wonder about moving forward. We put a lot of effort into becoming comfortable with what we have. Its never easy to be the new guy in any situation, from a relationship to a new job setting.
You have two choices: 1) you can let the world pass you by and accept what falls into your lap, or 2) you can actively chase what outcomes YOU want. Regardless of the choice you make, the world will continue to spin.
I recently made some forward progress myself. (My apologies because I know it affected my posting) I spent 13 years in a job that was my dream job. It still is. But I felt I was ready for a new challenge. I’m the type of person who likes to have goals and projects that I am working towards. But I fell into a rut over the years. I actually hate to say rut because I excelled in my field and enjoyed being the experienced person who could answer questions and train new people. But ultimately I wanted to do more for me. But I was hesitant to leave my dream job fearing that everything I love about it would be hard to outdo.
With much support and soul searching I took the leap to explore more of my world. I actually stayed in my field, so it’s still very much my dream job. But it’s an entirely different aspect of it. It has only been 2 weeks but I am loving it. I have a lot to learn but have been able to bring my experiences with me.
I always look at our retirement bulletins at work. They always post a condensed version of the persons resume listed the areas they have worked and some of their accomplishments. I always feel sad when I see a person has only done one thing for X amount of years. I get motivated when I see someone who has been all over the company, using all different kinds of skills. Imagine the knowledge and experiences he or she has picked up over the years.
No one would have forced my hand. They wont force yours either. Opportunities will come and go. They will float right past you. Some will be better than others. But ultimately it will be up to you to reach for one of them and take the risk.
First impressions are made fast. One study I read said 90% of one’s opinion of someone else is made up in the first 90 seconds of meeting them. That’s fast! But test it out, sit somewhere at do some people watching. See how fast your mind makes up a story (good or bad) about the people you see. And it will
all be based on you simply seeing them, no conversation, no back story – just a quick size-up.
So upon meeting someone, you have your visual presentation of yourself, some very brief conversation skills/ openers, and the always underrated handshake. A lot can be told, and should be known about handshakes. There have been entire books and industries created around body language. But here is some basic info for you to start with:
The awkwardly loooong shake:
This greeting isn’t necessarily a problem if you are spending 5-10 seconds catching up, giving an extended thank you, or on sincere terms with the recipient. Otherwise, the recipient is probably wondering why you are standing there staring at them..
Pulling in:
This motion gives the puller the essence of control over the recipient. As the receiver gets pulled in closer, they are pulled off balance. Naturally, if you don’t have a strong stance or aren’t expecting this as a receiver, you tend to automatically stumble forward.
Palm vertical (each person’s hand is karate chopping the air):
This is the most neutral of all handshakes. It shows equality. It takes out all the possible misunderstandings of body language. When I see this I tend to think that person is being straightforward. You get what you see.
Palm down (forces your palm to face up):
This action is also known as a controlling behavior. It is basically the person saying (and literally demonstrating) that they are above/ over/ superior to you.
Palm up (forces your palm to face down):
This allows the receiver to automatically have a sense of control in the situation. It can be read a sign of humility and graciousness. I’ve seen men attempt to shake a woman’s hand in this manner. It is a professional yet gentle way of shaking hands. However, some powerful women will be immediately turn their hand vertical or even flip the scenario over to demonstrate their superiority.
Wimpy/weak hand:
(Or as my dad calls it; “wet toast”)
Unless there is some medical condition or extremely dainty-ness you are worried about, don’t do this. Stiffen up and put some effort into it. Otherwise it will be read as extremely low interest in the situation or extremely low confidence.
Left handed:
What?! Yes, lefties are out there. And they are forever adapting to our right-handed world. However, in many cultures it is very disrespectful to offer your left hand. That’s because is some cultures that is that hand you use for…uh hmm.. well wiping yourself. So know your audience, but that’s a good rule always follow!
But having said that, I usually use my left hand if I am going to incorporate a hug with my right arm. It gives that “great seeing you/working with you WITH a touch of “hey we’re buddies too ya know!”
Hand in hand:
This is when someone shakes your hand with one of their hands and covers the whole execution with their other free hand. It’s used as a sign of sympathy and caring, and extreme thankfulness, if you will.
…And last but not least (and newest):
Knuckle/ fist bump:
There is a coolness and casualness to the fist bump. Its very informal, but becoming more and more popular. I wouldn’t advise it in a professional situation unless the ties are loosened and the sleeves are rolled up. But in some circles its extremely acceptable and simply replaces the traditional handshake because of germs and grime. I’ve also done the “elbow bump” for those types of situations.
So be well! Crack your knuckles inconspicuously ahead of time, wipe your hand on your pant leg, and start to pay attention to people’s body language. It’s definitely not all-inclusive but it can tell you a lot about a person.
GrowingUpGuy 