Big picture decisions

April 1, 2013 //
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Throughout the day I see people in real life and on the news making some very bad decisions .. I like to refer to them as short sighted decisions. But in reality it comes down to just being immature – so immature decisions if you prefer that.

See, here is how I get there: children act without thinking. They only know instant gratification. When they don’t get it, they scream, cry, and throw tantrums. They don’t think about the consequences or possible ramifications of their actions. It’s up to their parents to “teach” them that they can’t always have it their way. They are also teaching them patience, and problem solving skills.

BUT, not everyone gets these lessons apparently. We see people getting in fist fights over parking spots, walking away from fights only to return with a gun, or lashing out and striking someone. Sadly these aren’t even the worst reactions and short term decisions.

People lose their job and come back to shoot up their former office. In my town we recently had a man essentially kill two people (both who had families) over a $2500.00 lawsuit. He ended committing suicide as the police searched for him. What a sad outcome all around.

These short term decisions come to mind because these people don’t think about their actions. Lives ruined, people sent to prison all over things that can be so temporary, things that can be worked through or walked away from without the chaos.

Part of being a true man is being able to control your actions. You have to be able to see the big picture and think before you act. You have to realize the wave of consequences that come with your actions.

Remember children throw tantrums. Men are able to step back, take a breath, and choose their battles wisely.

Can you make big pictures decisions ?

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Categories mindset

Are you a shark or a goldfish?

March 20, 2013 //
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“A shark can never give up, the moment it stops swimming it drowns
. Maybe that’s why it’s the most feared creature if the sea”

– everyday life lessons

Recommended book: The Shark and the Goldfish by Jon Gordon

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Categories mindset, quotes

Iconic values

March 14, 2013 //
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Some of you may be old enough to remember the black and white western tv show “the Lone Ranger.” Other may only remember his black mask and trusty horse “silver.” But I came across an article recently in a trade magazine that outlined the morals by which the Lone Ranger lived. After reading it I thought it was fitting to post. If more men followed these timeless tidbits we might all be a little better off.

THE CREED OF THE LONE RANGER

• I believe that to have a friend, a man must be one.

• I believe that all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world.

• I believe that God put the firewood there, but that every man must gather and light it himself.

• I believe in being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for that which is right.

• I believe a man should make the most of the equipment he has.

• I believe that men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number.

• I believe that sooner or later.. Somewhere, somehow, we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken.

• I believe that all things change but truth, and that alone lives on forever.

• I believe in my creator, my country, and my fellow man

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Categories mindset, quotes, Values

Trust your gut (your guy gut!)

March 6, 2013 //
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Ok so as we guys get older we definitely begin to take on more and more responsibilities. That’s why it’s important to hone your gut feeling skills. See, this is a skill that everyone has – not only guys. But not everyone has perfected this skills. In fact I’m mr sure it can be perfected, but so is life. But it is a skill that needs to be practiced.

It cannot be perfected because we can’t always foresee the outcome to our choices. Nor would we want to! But as we take on more and more responsibilities (families, more important jobs, etc) we have to take more calculated risks. So my advice is to practice with yourself and with meaningless decisions. Decisions where the outcome won’t make or break you.

Every decision that comes up in life will give you a gut feeling. But some of us guys like to sit back and ponder every “what if”. We over think ourselves to death and end up scaring ourselves so much that we don’t do anything and miss some great opportunities.

Here is a good little technique to use if you just have no stinking idea what your gut is telling you. The next time you have a decision come up, one that you just can’t make a decision about… Take a coin, and prepare for a coin toss. Choose heads = blank and tails = blank. The get ready to flip the coin. And flip! Here’s the trick.. Don’t even look at what the coin landed on. Just see which “side” or “decision” blurted out in your head. And there is your guy feeling.

No barring any choices that all affect your life, health, freedom, marriage, etc.. Follow your gut!

This will help you man up so the next time you are at a fork in the road of life you can choose quickly and miss the turn completely.

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Categories mindset

Luck or purpose

January 4, 2013 //
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“Your life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by change.”
– Jim Rohn

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Categories mindset, quotes, Values

A new twist on New Years goals

January 4, 2013 //
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So it’s the start of a new year. Everyone and their brother is talking about New Years resolutions. It’s nothing new, we do this every year; I will lose 20 pounds , learn a new language, become debt free, etc, etc…

And good for you for making those New Years resolutions – I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my own.

But I want to offer you a new view on those resolutions. It’s a simple tweak of language and mindset – but it’s so simplistic it’s hard not to see how you will not be successful.

Your mission: make goals just as you have. Use the ones I mentioned above for sake of conversation. But here’s the twist… I have to credit one of my mentors JB Glossinger for this mindset, I’m simply passing it along – let’s thinks of our resolutions, or goals, as trajectories.

Do you see the simple difference? You set a goal of losing 20 lbs. but end up only losing 15. Wouldn’t you say that’s still a success? It’s 5 lbs shy but you still lost 15 lbs!

You want to learn a new language. At the end if the year you still aren’t fluent but you can hold a simple conversation or maybe you can understand when someone speaks to you. That’s still pretty good!

You end the year and still have some debt. But you paid off your two largest credit cards and continue to chip away at what debt is left.

So you set your goals and name your resolutions. And still give them 100% and plan on reaching them. I’m not saying to half ass it. Just don’t disregard any progress you make along the way.

And then hidden lesson is that although you may end the year still working to complete your goals – by then your actions may well have become habits. Healthy lifestyle habits that you will continue to carry with you.

Also, don’t wait for New Year’s Day to make goals and make yourself a better person. That’s the tradition that we always abide by. But what’s wrong with making some goals in July or October?

Whenever the inspiration to improve yourself hits you, latch on to it! You’ll be a better man for it.

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Categories mindset

S.E.A.L.S. mindset

December 13, 2012 //
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“We [Navy SEALS] tried to never fall in love with a plan because that breeds complacency”

“One of the key lessons learned early on in a SEALS career was the ability to be comfortable being uncomfortable”

– Mark Owens in “No Easy Day”

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Categories mindset, quotes

Take your licks

December 7, 2012 //
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Ok so our whole life is governed by rules, some big some small. When we are young we are under the thumb of our parents. When we are older we have to deal with our boss. And the whole time we have to live by the laws of the land of where ever we choose to live. Then we have social norms, things like not cutting in line and facing forward in a crowded elevator. Some of these “rules” are more personal and close to home – for instance, I’m sure your wife or girlfriend expects you to be loyal to her and not stray. See, lots of rules.

But we are all own own people. The “man” can’t keep us down. We are humans and have the free will to make our own decisions. We technically get to decide what rules we will obey and which ones we might bend or simply just not adhere to at all. As an adult you get more and more “freedom” to decide which rules are more important than others, but ironically the penalties increase as well.

Everyone’s moral compass is formed by their upbringing, culture, experiences, etc. So I hold no authority in telling you which decisions to make. But what I do want to tell you is that regardless of which rules you choose to bend, push, or disregard – be man enough to take your licks if you get called out on it. You know right from wrong. So you have no one to blame but your self when and if you get caught. And don’t be a guy without a spine and start saying “we’ll so and so did it too!” Take your licks. Be accountable.
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Sidebar: so what sparked this post?

I chose to bend a work rule and my boss called me on it. I said ok, took my licks and admitted my wrongdoing. I can’t be mad at my boss – he’s doing his job. And I knew the action I was taking.

My coworker also bent the same rule. Also got called out. But got angry with the boss and felt wronged for being disciplined.

Other coworkers weren’t called out. Maybe they went unnoticed. And it’s not my job to name them.

* sounds heinous right? Maybe. But by my moral compass, it wasn’t…

It was Friday. I had been battling a sinus infection for a month. I needed to take my medicine so I made the decision to leave about 10 minutes early. Wrong? Technically yes. End of the world – I didn’t think so, thus my decision to leave.

Did my boss agree? Nope 🙂
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So make your decisions wisely about what rules you think are or aren’t important. Know that there are consequences. And decide what action you’ll take. But be accountable for your actions.

You can be mad if you get caught. Just make sure you’re mad at the right person.

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Categories Career, Values

Do you live your life?

November 30, 2012 //
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“Every man dies, not every man truly lives” – braveheart

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Categories mindset, quotes

Perspective

November 22, 2012 //
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I tend to get down about my job sometimes just like everyone else. Even though its my dream job, and it’s what I always wanted to do – its still a job. There are aspects that of it that drive me crazy.

For those readers in the United States or those familiar with the United States know that today we celebrate Thanksgiving. Now without getting into the history behind the day, just know that this day, as many other holidays, has come to include gathering with family and friends, relaxing and having the day off work, and watching some American football.

My job is one of those that never closes. It’s 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Of course we work in shifts so select people get lucky and have the holidays off. But even on holidays, someone has to be here. Do you see the connection yet? Yep I’m working on a holiday…

I wish I was at home enjoying a beer or some wine. But I’m here instead. I could gripe and be mad all day and talk about poor me… Or I can change my perspective.

First, I’m getting compensated to be here. Many people would love to have my job, some would love to have any job.

Second, everyone I have dealt with today is having a much worse day than mine. You could say I work in a service industry.

Third, I’m sitting here near our local children’s hospital wondering how those families feel. They’d give anything to “work a holiday” if that meant exchanging the problems they are dealing with.

We can always find reasons to complain about our situation. But often if we step back and take things into perspective, we will realize that many people out there have it much worse than us. It should make us grateful for the problems we have… Yes re-read that – be thankful for your problems.

If that’s hard for you to do, take a walk through a local hospital. Drive through the “bad” part of town. Hell, sink into your couch and watch the news – all of those settings could be yours to deal with.

When I look at the problems of others, I think I’ll hold on to my own…

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Categories Career, mindset
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