Archives for posts with tag: trust

Remember when everyone you knew was a stranger to you? No? They were. Even the closest person to you was once a stranger.

People get caught in their routines of life. They rush from their car to the door and back to the car as fast as possible. They do the same thing when they get home. Who wants to bother with the neighbors ? They say they aren’t in the mood to be sociable or they don’t need to make new friends. Nothing can be further from the truth.

My life long friends were strangers at one time. We met way back when we were 4 years old. Some of my best memories were made with people who were once strangers – but we met in college or through work, some of us met having drinks at a bar or in the pool. I don’t know what I’d do without them. We have a blast together. Even your significant other was once a stranger, but one of you took a chance and talked to the other one.

I’ve heard if you grow old and can say you have 3 close friends you can consider yourself lucky. I think we should aim for a lot more than 3!

Don’t underestimate the people that cross your path. Open your kind a little and let people in. You never know what they can offer your life, or you to theirs.

You never know what memories are waiting to be made.

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Ok so as we guys get older we definitely begin to take on more and more responsibilities. That’s why it’s important to hone your gut feeling skills. See, this is a skill that everyone has – not only guys. But not everyone has perfected this skills. In fact I’m mr sure it can be perfected, but so is life. But it is a skill that needs to be practiced.

It cannot be perfected because we can’t always foresee the outcome to our choices. Nor would we want to! But as we take on more and more responsibilities (families, more important jobs, etc) we have to take more calculated risks. So my advice is to practice with yourself and with meaningless decisions. Decisions where the outcome won’t make or break you.

Every decision that comes up in life will give you a gut feeling. But some of us guys like to sit back and ponder every “what if”. We over think ourselves to death and end up scaring ourselves so much that we don’t do anything and miss some great opportunities.

Here is a good little technique to use if you just have no stinking idea what your gut is telling you. The next time you have a decision come up, one that you just can’t make a decision about… Take a coin, and prepare for a coin toss. Choose heads = blank and tails = blank. The get ready to flip the coin. And flip! Here’s the trick.. Don’t even look at what the coin landed on. Just see which “side” or “decision” blurted out in your head. And there is your guy feeling.

No barring any choices that all affect your life, health, freedom, marriage, etc.. Follow your gut!

This will help you man up so the next time you are at a fork in the road of life you can choose quickly and miss the turn completely.

The first time I realized I was actually out on my own was my first year in college. I got sick with the flu thanks to the Midwest weather. I had missed classes for a couple days and Tylenol and soup just weren’t cutting it. I finally broke down and decided I needed a doctor. I happened to be talking to my parents on the phone and explained my situation. My mom chimed in and offered to make me a doctor’s appointment. The only problem was I was 3 hours from home and she had no idea of any doctor in my area. Its not that I was spoiled and incapable of completing such chores, this was just the first realization that it was all on me. I honesty don’t remember if I had the energy to find a doctor or not, but I lived nonetheless.

Years later, I have moved from college, this time much further that 3 hours away from home. I ended up on the other side of the country in an area where I had no friends and no family. So everything was new – and everything was on me. It was time to step up and grow up.

Its not that this was a treacherous experience or anything, but it just addresses the little issues in life we often times don’t think about. Our parents raise us. Their network is our network. We go to the same doctor for years. We take our car to the same mechanic because that’s what we have always done. But if you really want to fuel your independence, start a list of your own “go to” people.

I actually had a 20-minute conversation with “my butcher” today as we discussed the right cut of meat to use for my Italian beef sandwiches. That led to football, which turn led to the discovery of us being from that same area of the country and cheering for the same team. That small conversation turned a random trip to the store into a very friendly experience. I now have a connection, a “go to” person, that will give me their expertise as friend.

I’ve repeated this experience with doctors. A random pre travel exam prior to my trip to Costa Rica led to a connection with the doc. He loves Costa Rica and travels there often. I was privy to some local advice before my trip.

Mechanics are another great connection to make. I hate car trouble. I’d rather be punched in the face than have car problems. So any time I need to take my car into the shop I’m already on edge. I happened to make buddies with a local mechanic over beers at happy hour one day. His shop is very close to my house. I still hate car problems with a passion but its much less stressful knowing I can trust the person who will be doing the work.

Not only will these “go to” people make your life easier in most cases, but it will also make you a more well rounded person. You’ll be able to add some local flare to the next conversation you find yourself in.  And don’t be afraid to share your own expertise. You may end up being someone else’s “go to” person. And there is no better advertising and networking than this word-of-mouth style. It makes the world a friendlier place to do business.