Archives for posts with tag: divorce

“Never marry a woman you wouldn’t want to be divorced from”

And for the ladie followers…

“Don’t marry a man unless you’d be proud to have a son exactly like him”

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I came across both of these quotes over the last week at separate times. It’s a different way of looking at an age old problem.

Then, I was talking to a woman at work who was having some very serious problems with her boyfriend. She was obviously pregnant, so I asked how far along she was. “8 months.” Knowing that the guy she was having problems with was only her boyfriend, I took the liberty in asking if the baby was his. Her response, “yea, unfortunately..”

Knowing the problems she was having, I wasn’t that stunned by her answer. But as the day went on I couldn’t help but think about her situation. Sadly, I think her feelings are more common than we think.

I hear about people battling horrible divorces and child custody disputes. The kids are not the problem, it’s the ex lover who battles over the kids that is. But everyone involved is affected.

When you see warning signs early on in a relationship it would be very smart of you to think about what they are saying.

You have to choose wisely. Abrupt, lustful decisions can alter your entire life..

Some people are risk takers. Real men take calculated risks. See the above quotes – then decide…

The dating world is a web of frustration. It can make or break a man. Often times it will do both, numerous times, in man’s life. But it’s a necessary step to finding someone you want to dedicate your life to. And when I say life, I mean life: your time, your money, your decisions, everything that is a part of your life will be “shared” with the person you choose to dedicate your life to. I’m sure some of you are already smiling and saying, “that’s why I’m single!” I say more power to you and live it up my friends. But I think the majority of men will choose to want to settle down at some point. For some it’s at 21, some 31, and hell for some it may not hit until 81.

Honestly, I have yet to find the woman I am going to settle down with. It’s not to say I’m not ready, but it takes two to go down that road. My search continues, and sometimes I get down on the whole dating scene. I’m the last of my circle of friends to settle down and it gives me the envy bug here and there. But there is another side of the coin that I have gotten to see.

More friends than I’d like to count, guys and girls, have gone through or are going through the big D… divorce. Some people have had the pleasure of going through it more than once (sarcasm). But, I’m not here to criticize people’s choices and Monday morning quarterback them. In some cases I don’t even know if there were any red flags that could have given any warning. But shit happens nonetheless.

In the best-case scenario, they will get to deal with the heart and headache of the legal proceedings that will lead to the separation. Now, everything that each of them has worked for gets to be fought over, and again in the best-case scenario, split evenly – not normally the case. And I haven’t even touched on the point of possibly having kids involved – But that’s another post altogether, because these days kids don’t always equal marriage.

Now hear me out, I am in no way trying to talk down the institution of marriage. In fact, I look forward to the day, also to having a family. But be aware, be very aware, that some decisions you make can affect the rest of your life. Not everything is in your control. So make the most of those factors that are. Talk openly. Be very real. Your dating phase will be the foundation of what may come. If it’s anything less than solid, don’t expect marriage to make things better. Choose wisely.