“Brick walls are there to show you that you want it bad enough.”
– Randy Pausch
Author of The Last lecture
Archives for category: mindset
Be the man. Be the calm in the storm.
Be the man in an emergency.
Every single one of us has bad days. No matter how stoic we are, we all have to deal with bills, traffic, flat tires, leaky pipes and a whole list of miscellaneous things that pop up and make you want to pull your hair out. It’s called life.
I clench my teeth and drop my head back against my headrest more times than I can count throughout the week. But my role at work does not allow me to lose my cool and scream at the top of my lungs to blow off steam. It’s the sign of a mature man to keep his cool and handle the situation. Nothing gets fixed when you lose it. The coolest most in control men stop, breath, and work the problem.
But being a man brings on even more responsibility. You’ll find yourself surrounded by friends, girlfriends, wives, kids and everyone else who is stressing because of the situation at hand. And it’s easy to see that screaming, crying, and worrying about every “what if” isn’t going to help anything. This is when you really have to “man up”. I’ve found that in stressful situations, the mob mentality spreads fast. So, take the leadership role and stay calm and start to work with what you have. The tires flat – punching your steering wheel won’t fix it. Your son didn’t get to play as much in his sports league as you wanted – making a scene and cussing out the coach won’t make you the father of the year. Be a man and stay calm.
I’ll be the first to admit, when I’m solo and something like a flat tire happens unexpectedly… I allow myself a moment to grab the steering wheel and grrrrrrrr!!! But then you have to breath and analyze your options and work through the problem at hand. But that’s when I’m alone. When you’re a guy, and your loved ones are around, or anyone who is counting on you to be the leader in the situation, the grrrrrr goes out the window.
No matter what the outcome, whether you can rectify the whole situation or not, you become the lead guy by keeping your cool and not losing your head. And if you do fix the issue, you become the coolest most level headed hero on everyone’s eyes.
So aim at being the hero instead of a screaming hot-headed lunatic. Your man-factor will grow by leaps and bounds.
“Weak men wait for opportunities; great men make them.” — Orison Swett Marden
Throughout the day I see people in real life and on the news making some very bad decisions .. I like to refer to them as short sighted decisions. But in reality it comes down to just being immature – so immature decisions if you prefer that.
See, here is how I get there: children act without thinking. They only know instant gratification. When they don’t get it, they scream, cry, and throw tantrums. They don’t think about the consequences or possible ramifications of their actions. It’s up to their parents to “teach” them that they can’t always have it their way. They are also teaching them patience, and problem solving skills.
BUT, not everyone gets these lessons apparently. We see people getting in fist fights over parking spots, walking away from fights only to return with a gun, or lashing out and striking someone. Sadly these aren’t even the worst reactions and short term decisions.
People lose their job and come back to shoot up their former office. In my town we recently had a man essentially kill two people (both who had families) over a $2500.00 lawsuit. He ended committing suicide as the police searched for him. What a sad outcome all around.
These short term decisions come to mind because these people don’t think about their actions. Lives ruined, people sent to prison all over things that can be so temporary, things that can be worked through or walked away from without the chaos.
Part of being a true man is being able to control your actions. You have to be able to see the big picture and think before you act. You have to realize the wave of consequences that come with your actions.
Remember children throw tantrums. Men are able to step back, take a breath, and choose their battles wisely.
Can you make big pictures decisions ?
“A shark can never give up, the moment it stops swimming it drowns
. Maybe that’s why it’s the most feared creature if the sea”
– everyday life lessons
Recommended book: The Shark and the Goldfish by Jon Gordon
Some of you may be old enough to remember the black and white western tv show “the Lone Ranger.” Other may only remember his black mask and trusty horse “silver.” But I came across an article recently in a trade magazine that outlined the morals by which the Lone Ranger lived. After reading it I thought it was fitting to post. If more men followed these timeless tidbits we might all be a little better off.
THE CREED OF THE LONE RANGER
• I believe that to have a friend, a man must be one.
• I believe that all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world.
• I believe that God put the firewood there, but that every man must gather and light it himself.
• I believe in being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for that which is right.
• I believe a man should make the most of the equipment he has.
• I believe that men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number.
• I believe that sooner or later.. Somewhere, somehow, we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken.
• I believe that all things change but truth, and that alone lives on forever.
• I believe in my creator, my country, and my fellow man
Ok so as we guys get older we definitely begin to take on more and more responsibilities. That’s why it’s important to hone your gut feeling skills. See, this is a skill that everyone has – not only guys. But not everyone has perfected this skills. In fact I’m mr sure it can be perfected, but so is life. But it is a skill that needs to be practiced.
It cannot be perfected because we can’t always foresee the outcome to our choices. Nor would we want to! But as we take on more and more responsibilities (families, more important jobs, etc) we have to take more calculated risks. So my advice is to practice with yourself and with meaningless decisions. Decisions where the outcome won’t make or break you.
Every decision that comes up in life will give you a gut feeling. But some of us guys like to sit back and ponder every “what if”. We over think ourselves to death and end up scaring ourselves so much that we don’t do anything and miss some great opportunities.
Here is a good little technique to use if you just have no stinking idea what your gut is telling you. The next time you have a decision come up, one that you just can’t make a decision about… Take a coin, and prepare for a coin toss. Choose heads = blank and tails = blank. The get ready to flip the coin. And flip! Here’s the trick.. Don’t even look at what the coin landed on. Just see which “side” or “decision” blurted out in your head. And there is your guy feeling.
No barring any choices that all affect your life, health, freedom, marriage, etc.. Follow your gut!
This will help you man up so the next time you are at a fork in the road of life you can choose quickly and miss the turn completely.
“Your life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by change.”
– Jim Rohn
So it’s the start of a new year. Everyone and their brother is talking about New Years resolutions. It’s nothing new, we do this every year; I will lose 20 pounds , learn a new language, become debt free, etc, etc…
And good for you for making those New Years resolutions – I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my own.
But I want to offer you a new view on those resolutions. It’s a simple tweak of language and mindset – but it’s so simplistic it’s hard not to see how you will not be successful.
Your mission: make goals just as you have. Use the ones I mentioned above for sake of conversation. But here’s the twist… I have to credit one of my mentors JB Glossinger for this mindset, I’m simply passing it along – let’s thinks of our resolutions, or goals, as trajectories.
Do you see the simple difference? You set a goal of losing 20 lbs. but end up only losing 15. Wouldn’t you say that’s still a success? It’s 5 lbs shy but you still lost 15 lbs!
You want to learn a new language. At the end if the year you still aren’t fluent but you can hold a simple conversation or maybe you can understand when someone speaks to you. That’s still pretty good!
You end the year and still have some debt. But you paid off your two largest credit cards and continue to chip away at what debt is left.
So you set your goals and name your resolutions. And still give them 100% and plan on reaching them. I’m not saying to half ass it. Just don’t disregard any progress you make along the way.
And then hidden lesson is that although you may end the year still working to complete your goals – by then your actions may well have become habits. Healthy lifestyle habits that you will continue to carry with you.
Also, don’t wait for New Year’s Day to make goals and make yourself a better person. That’s the tradition that we always abide by. But what’s wrong with making some goals in July or October?
Whenever the inspiration to improve yourself hits you, latch on to it! You’ll be a better man for it.
GrowingUpGuy 